He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
