The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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