Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
