My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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