apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drunk is a universal language darling
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
