Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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