I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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