arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize