Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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