It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
