I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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