Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
