K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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