Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
