Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
