he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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