We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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