Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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