why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
