Soap is not a condiment
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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