If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
