so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
