So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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