According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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