How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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