i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
