direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
