chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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