Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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