where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
