I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize