i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
