Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
