Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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