please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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