it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
