How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
