What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
