Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize