I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
