she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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