So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize