talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We need to rekindle our bromance
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
