I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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