I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
