It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
