hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
