I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
