Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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