Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
