I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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