the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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