No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
