During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My vagina is officially offended.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
