Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
