I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
