I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
