they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
