Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
