are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
