I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize