I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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