I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
