I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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