I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize