ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this will be a night to untag.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
