My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
