Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i need some magic done to my vagina
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