Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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