I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
