Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
