Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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