i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
God, I missed his penis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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