the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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