I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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