I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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