There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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