please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
