Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
