Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
well you can't waste a boner
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
